“How is it being an engineering manager?”
I froze.
I get this question at least once a week. The engineer was curious about management.
I didn’t know what to say and stared past him through the windows. I wished the waters in the distance could help improvise a response. Nothing. I couldn’t voice an opinion about my own job.
“Why did you just freeze?”
Shoot. He noticed. Time runs funny when thoughts are going through my head. I could answer, “Good” and change the subject. I could answer, “You know, it is what it is.”
I didn’t want to brush him off. He was genuinely interested in the role and had potential.
I could list the responsibilities and projects I deal with. I could send him internal documents for a manager’s job description. I didn’t feel that was the right thing to do. Digging deeper into the question, he wanted to hear what I truly thought about management and not what the zeitgeist claims. I wouldn’t say, “Empower the org to accomplish strategic initiatives with technology.”
I froze because I wanted to answer from the heart. I needed time so I thought about the question for a few months. Meanwhile I was asked the same thing by other engineers. I shrugged, “The job’s good. I’ll… get back to you when I can explain how I feel about the role in a better way.”
Then I’d excuse myself quickly and leave the conversation. Dart around the corner and down the elevator. I’d meander to the waterfront with a mocha and think.
And I kept thinking.
One word came to mind –
“Endless.”
Don’t interpret endless as a negative. I don’t intend for a good or bad connotation.
My job as an engineering manager never ends. I could improve my team, improve business metrics, or improve our tech stack. I could work with other teams to find new products to build. I could write slides for presentations and work on my public speaking ability.
I could get better at writing.
Many of my decisions are on a different time scale. I don’t receive immediate feedback if I coach a new engineer on a technical skill like mitigating replica lag. Perhaps they can use that skill tomorrow. Maybe not in a few quarters. I’ll have to wait. I could be waiting forever to see results.
I can never finish the job because the final level doesn’t exist. I try to make the environment around me better. I focus on the people, the business, and the technology.
So what’s management like? I now say, “Endless improvement.”
What would you say?
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